Destinations for these parties span the globe, and budgets run the gamut. But in general, according to Burton, the Texas-based travel adviser, popular locations in the United States are Nashville, Charleston, New Orleans, and parts of Florida. “I choose [the location based on] my clients’ dates and on the weather, of course!” Burton says. “And all have unique charming areas to walk safely, great restaurants, music, spas, and bars.” And while the costs of these excursions can add up, Burton stresses that it’s still possible to hold a great celebration no matter what a person can afford to spend. “I truly think that if anyone has any type of budget, that trip is there for them,” she says.
Outside the United States, the Caribbean and Central America are popular. “It had to be by the ocean,” Eileen insists of her own celebration, which is how she settled on Bermuda. Other considerations? Not too expensive for her friends, not too hard to get to, with great food and an accessible spa.
For groups that have more than one woman celebrating her 40th—as in the case of the University of Wisconsin reunion group—requirements tend to be even stricter. “A lot of thought, thorough research, opinions, and a survey were involved,” says Patty LeBaron, another member of the cohort. The women settled on a rented house, complete with a staff for cooking and cleaning, to make sure the vacation felt as relaxing as possible. “We also looked for places where we would each have a bed as opposed to a pullout couch, because our backs are 40 too,” she adds.
Even for those who don’t choose to rent out a single home, hotels have noticed that on group trips, women are interested in having a place to congregate. (Hundreds of Real Housewives vacations attest to this; it’s not a girls’ trip unless there’s a common area.) Ingram, the sales manager at the Four Seasons Resort Nevis, finds that women who come down for parties often want to rent out a villa so that at least meals can be shared.
Most 40th celebrations have their own personal touches as well. This often includes gift bags for the guests, replete with snacks, a weekend itinerary, and alcohol, just as you’d find at most weddings. Sometimes these bags may even include items the birthday woman loves—Rachel’s, for example, included a pair of fuzzy socks and yellow candy, two of her favorite things. And then there are the specially made items, such as personalized beer koozies, shirts, and wine glasses that serve as souvenirs for the weekend.
No matter what women decide to do or where to go, the implicit aim is the same—to take time with friends to connect and appreciate one another, outside of their usual routines. For Rachel, the celebration was perfect. “What more can one ask for than to be surrounded by your people, celebrating a milestone and making new memories together?”
Eileen agrees: “These people loved me and were willing to spend their time and money to celebrate with me. We had a blast, and almost a year later, we still talk about it!”
Such positive memories could drive more celebrations down the line too, as the women encounter subsequent rites of passage. In Nashville last October, an all-women group celebrating one friend’s 70th birthday connected with women who were on a 40th-birthday trip while both groups were pedaling on a beer bike tour. “The 40-year-old birthday gals called us their idols, for having boisterous fun, singing every song, and pedaling to the metal while not spilling our drinks,” Barbara Frey, 74, recalls. “It was a truly memorable trip.”
Vanessa Armstrong is a freelance writer who lives in Los Angeles with her dog, Penny, and her husband, Jon. You can find more of her work on her website, , or follow her on Twitter @vfarmstrong.
