A Funny Take on Valentine's Day

Holly Prazoff--

John: What is your ideal Valentine's Day?

Holly: Starts off with every boy or man I've ever dated calling me. Once I answer the phone, they profess their undying love for me. I have to explain to each of them in detail why I am no longer interested in pursuing love with them. They all cry. I feel great. Then I eat breakfast. It's lobster.

So many gifts arrive, from men. These men are very rich and come from all over the world. They are courting me. They are all cute. I open the gifts and they are all amazing purses each one nicer then the last. That takes up the whole morning.

Then I eat lunch. It's lobster.

I fill the afternoon splashing around in my own over sized chocolate fountain. I get chocolate everywhere.

Then I eat dinner. It's more lobster.

Bobby Tisdale--

John: What is your worst Valentine's memory?

Bobby: To make a really long story short: Back in 1990, after a wonderfully romantic Valentine's dinner, my girlfriend at the time and I decided to roll around naked with her two kittens. She wanted to act like we were in nature, and let the curious felines investigate our post passion, just like we were in the wild kingdom. All was wonderful until the Asian-mixed kitten decided to bite through my testicle sack and try to run off with it. The pain was more than unbearable and the blood trickling down my inner thigh looked like I had my first boy period. The Valentine's Day ended up with us sitting in her tub, soaking my injury in Epsom Salt, thinking of ways to tell the emergency room doctor how I got four little puncture wounds "down there" just in case it got infected…. "You're NEVER going to believe this, Doc, but I accidentally sat on a staple remover…"

Here's hoping your VD is better than Bobby's in 1990, and if it isn't, maybe this will make it better.

Valentine's Day horror stories anyone? What do you think single people should do on Valentine's Day?

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More on V-Day____

Great Valentine's Day Gift For Your Single Girlfriends

Valentine's Day Dos and Donts

10 Things He's Thinking About on Valentine's Day

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Photo: Jupiter Images; model is used for illustrative purposes only

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