A bride price must be paid before a marriage takes place in Nigeria. Without it, the marriage is considered null and void. In fact, marriage doesn’t take place at all. That is how important a bride price is in African culture.
Western values and civilisation may have influenced a lot of things in Africa, but the one thing that refused to be influenced is the concept of bride price in an African marriage ceremony. It is a tradition that has been passed down from generation to generation. No matter the negativity that seems to follow the concept these days, it will be difficult for it to be phased out.
Table of Content hide 1What is bride price? 2Bride price vs. dowry 3How much is the bride price in Nigeria 3.1Cash 3.2Drinks 3.3Clothing 3.4Food items 3.5Toiletries 4Advantages and disadvantages of bride priceWhat is bride price?
According to New World Encyclopedia, a Bride price, also known as bride wealth, is an amount of money, property, or other forms of wealth paid to the parents of a woman for the right to marry their daughter. In some parts of Africa, particularly South-East Nigeria, a marriage will not be allowed to take place without the groom paying the bride price first.
Bride price vs. dowry
Dowry is an ancient custom that continues in parts of Asia, Northern Africa, and the Balkans. It is money paid by the bride’s family to the groom or his family at the time of marriage. The purpose of paying a dowry varies. It could be to establish a household, financial security in case the bride becomes a widow or a way to empower the bride to care for her children in case she marries a negligent husband.
However, a bride price is different from a dowry. The groom pays a bride price to marry his bride while the bride’s family pays a dowry to the groom for a marriage. You may call dowry groom price if you want because it goes to the groom instead of the other way round.
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How much is the bride price in Nigeria
There’s no fixed amount of bride price in Nigeria. It depends on the culture and tradition of a community. While some communities don’t ask for much in terms of bride price for their daughters, other communities will demand the groom breaks his bank account. The cost could be anywhere from N20,000 to N100,000 on average. However, there is always a list the groom must fulfill before he is allowed to take his bride. Here are common items in a Nigerian bride price list:
Cash
This is the number one item a Nigerian groom must have before he even thinks of taking a bride. As previously stated, the required amount depends on the family of the bride and the community at large. If the groom is lucky, the bride’s family will not ask for too much. Some families are even known to return the cash to the groom as a sign that they’re not selling their daughter. The unlucky groom may be forced to rob a bank to provide the cash he has to pay to the bride’s family.
Drinks
The number one drink you will find on the list is hot drinks, the type Igbos call akpuruachia (drink and laugh). This drink is compulsory at every African event or occasion. In this case, the head of the bride’s family is supposed to use the drink to pour libations to the ancestors and open the ceremony. Other drinks you will find on the list are alcoholic drinks like beer and soft drinks. They will be distributed to the members of the bride’s family as their share of the bride price.
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Clothing
These are mostly ankara and George materials that the groom must provide in bundles. They will be distributed to the bride, her mother, and female members of her family the Igbos call umuada. Her father can also be gifted with clothes but that is rare.
Food items
These are the major part of gifts to the male members of the family and general gifts for all members of the bride’s family. They include yam, stockfish, palm oil, rice, salt, dried fish, kolanuts, etc.
Toiletries
These include soaps and tissue papers which are mostly distributed to the female members of the bride’s family.
Another item on the list is cash gifts which are outside the bride price. The groom is expected to make provisions for extra cash for his bride during their wedding ceremony. There may be “games” he will be required to use the money to pay to make his bride’s arrival “sweeter.”
Advantages and disadvantages of bride price
The major advantage of the payment of the bride price is the groom’s humble way of appreciating, honouring and respecting the bride’s family for all the work they put into raising her over the years. Here, the groom’s family acknowledges that it is not easy to raise the bride to the level she has attained, and therefore her people should be appreciated for doing all the work.
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Another advantage is that a bride price shows the value of a bride. For instance, some Igbo communities believe the higher the bride price, the higher the bride’s value. The concept is usually not to “commoditise” the bride. Rather as a way of showing that she is an important member of the family that should never be taken for granted. In other words, her family values her, and the groom must demonstrate that he is ready to take care of her.
However, some families have turned the concept upside down. Bride price for some families is now a poverty alleviation programme. Many young men are made to pay through their noses before they’re allowed to marry. As a result, many young men have opted not to marry until they’ve made it. In Nigeria, this usually means late marriages.
One of the major reasons why bride price is frowned upon is the belief that it undermines women. Women are seen as commodities that are owned by men who pay “something on their heads.” A lot of women are victims of domestic violence due to this mentality. Their husbands view them as properties that must be used anyhow they like.
Also, high bride prices have forced a lot of ladies to remain single. Some eligible bachelors have consciously avoided certain communities due to their reputation of demanding high bride prices for their daughters. Many eligible spinsters in these communities find it difficult to marry. Some take desperate measures like getting pregnant for the prospective groom to force their families’ hand.
Lastly, a high bride price can be bondage for a bride who wants out of her marriage for some reasons. In Nigeria, traditional marriage is usually dissolved when a woman’s family returns ALL her bride price to her husband. Unfortunately, not all families can do this because we all know that poverty is prevalent in the country. Many women in Nigeria are not even financially capable of caring for themselves and cannot pay divorce fees. Thus, they are forced to remain in a marriage that they don’t want.
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