Dear Celebrities, Bikinis + High Heels = Not That Cool. Really.

I confess, I get the urge to wear stilettos lots of times: On first dates, to the office, even to what you could possibly categorize as a questionably appropriate place like a Sunday morning family brunch. But the urge to be that fabulous has never, ever struck me at the beach. And do you know why?

Because wearing high heels with a bikini is ridiculous.

I first spotted 'em on Heidi Montag when she "married" Spencer Pratt for the first time in Mexico on an episode of The Hills last year. She emerged from her villa in a teeny bikini and a towering pair of stilettos and I thought, the only reason I'd ever have to wear high heels at the beach is...if an MTV crew were outside my door filming me! And even then, it feels a little porn star-ish, no? Then I watched as Danielle from the Real Housewives of New Jersey, the drama queen we all love to hate, strutted around her pool in the 'burbs wearing a pair. Then, just this past weekend, Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 23rd birthday with a poolside party Las Vegas, where she wore a pair of fringed platforms with a very sexy Herve Leger swimsuit. What gives, girls?