MIMI VALDÉS RYAN: I'm Cuban and Puerto Rican, and I grew up in New York City. I've had crushes on every type of guy, but I've mostly dated African American or Latino men. That has a lot to do with hip-hop, because I had to be with someone who loved it as much as I did, and most of the men who did were Latino or African American. I'm married now to a black man.
LAURA CHECKOWAY: I was also really embedded in hip-hop culture, and pretty much all of my serious boyfriends have been African American or Latino. The difference, though, is that as a Jewish [white] woman, that means most of my relationships have been interracial ones.
KELLINA CRAIG-HENDERSON: I've done in-depth interviews with African American men about their experiences for my book, Black Men in Interracial Relationships, and I'm working on a book from the viewpoint of African American women.
FLOYD: So have things gotten better since my parents' time?
CRAIG-HENDERSON: Well, it's no longer in vogue to be openly racist, so some of that has just gone underground. But [overall], attitudes have improved. Because of interracial marriage, people increasingly have relatives—and spend time with people— who are different than them.
CHECKOWAY: These are still racist times, though. I was out in Brooklyn recently with a black man and heard negative comments from two different people.
FLOYD: When I was interviewing people during the election, more than one white American told me they would be voting for Barack because of his economic stance, but that they would not tolerate their child dating a black person. This election proves that Americans of all ages and races have come a long way—but we still have a long way to go.
KIM: My own experience is one example of the change that's happened in a relatively short time. My husband, who's 15 years older than me, remembers segregation. And now we're together and have a child.
FLOYD: Let's talk about the preference to date only within your own race. Is it racist to say, "I'll date only Indian men"?
HARRIS: If you're doing it because you dislike a [group of people], that's racism. But for Jews, we may feel compelled to date within our own culture not because we disdain others, but because there's always [talk] about the numbers of Jews dwindling and our culture being assimilated.
FLOYD: Isn't that a valid concern, though? I believe in multiculturalism, but when we marry interracially and have kids, we do in fact dilute our races. When my baby was born, I said, "Who is this baby? She's so light." A friend said, "Well, you married a white man, and you're half white. What did you expect?" Don't we have to accept that there will be some loss?
SHENAI: That's why I felt for years that I had to be with only Indian men. But I've learned that as long as the person you're with is willing to share your traditions, you're not losing anything. My boyfriend, Phil, didn't know much about Indian culture before I taught him, so I was nervous when I brought him home. But as we left, he touched my grandmother's feet, which is a sign of respect. It's an awkward gesture if you're unfamiliar with it, but he's so open.
