Here are my thoughts:
Ugh. Sending you major hugs. (And a few glasses of red wine.)
Regardless of what your relationship's going to be down the road—married, friends, or something else—I think right now you need to stay away from each other. That means no e-mail, no texts, no visits, no phone calls. I'd say for at least two weeks. (I think it was really unfair of him to call you, by the way. But let's just leave that behind us.)
Yes, cutting off all communication is going to suck. But there's so much history and so much emotion between the two of you, and neither of you is going to be able to move forward if you're still revisiting the past.
When you decide to see each other again, I'd plan for a not-too-long meeting in a public place, like a restaurant, that way you won't get too emotional—and you won't have sex. (Trust me! Sex with the ex is a BAD, BAD idea right now.)
If he's decided he wants to get back together, then I'd say the ball is in your court. But if he's still doing the "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" thing, I'd say you need to keep those ties severed for now. You WILL get to a point where you can be friends, but that point is probably months (if not years) down the road. And trying to downgrade your relationship to "Just friends" is going to be too much for either of you to handle.
If you're not going to get back together, I'd go back to NOT communicating. (Trust me, that WILL make it easier in the long run!) And then try to keep yourself as busy as humanly possible. Take up running. Take up knitting. Go out with your girlfriends every night. Take your grandma to the mall. Take your kid sister to the park. Or just take a day (or weekend) for yourself and watch back-to-back episodes of Sex and the City. (Which is what I did after my last breakup. I started to feel better halfway through Season 4.) I'd also do a major purge of things that remind you of him. You don't have to toss gifts or shred pictures, but I'd put everything in a box for now, just so you're not surrounded by constant reminders.
Unfortunately, you're probably going to feel not-so-hot for a while. But you should start to feel a teeny, tiny bit better ever day. (Yes, there will be setbacks. But they'll eventually get fewer and farther between.) And then one day, you'll go to bed and think, "Huh, this is the FIRST time I'm thinking about him all day!"
It will get easier!
Ladies, what do you think? Should Sarah forget about this guy and move on? Do you think the relationship's over? Or do you think her guy just freaked out? Do you have any tips to help her get over him, if it's really the end? And how can she tell if it's really, really over?
