That said, I fully understand that many people (including many of my closest acquaintances) do not experience the way I did the effects of drinking. Their relationship with alcohol does not interfere with their day-to-day life or how they feel. I respect everyone’s decisions to live their life the way it feels best for them and hold no judgement. That’s life—you have to do what feels best for you. However, it seems people have become more open than ever about reevaluating their own relationship with alcohol, whether that means cutting it out completely or simply cutting back.
There are so many zero-proof options on bar and restaurant menus, and plenty of celebrities, from Cara Delevingne to Drew Barrymore, have discussed their own alcohol breakups. Yet at the same time, choosing to not drink in a society where drinking is the norm is not always easy to navigate.
Below, a road map of how to reassess your relationship with alcohol and, ultimately, tips and tools to stop drinking (if that is right for you) from experts like Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a New York City–based neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind; Lance Robinson, a substance abuse coach and founder of LMR Coaching; Joseph R. Volpicelli, MD, PhD, medical director and founder of the Volpicelli Center; and Dr. Sarah Church, a clinical psychologist, founder of Wholeview Wellness, and former executive director of the division of substance abuse at Montefiore Medical Center.
Regardless of where you are on your journey, please know I’m rooting for you and whatever feels the best for you. On the other side of this and at almost five years, I will say breaking up with alcohol has been the biggest gift I’ve ever given to myself. There’s no better time than now to take inventory and be real with yourself. As Dr. Church wrote to me, “If you have concerns about your drinking, my advice would be that you shouldn’t wait to talk to someone. There are many different ways that a trained therapist can help you sort through your thoughts on this topic, and it is always better to make changes early than to wait until something happens.”
You’ve decided to quit drinking…what’s next?
“Once you've made the decision to stop drinking, take a deep breath and congratulate yourself!” Dr. Church says. “That was a big step.” Next, she advises creating a plan to stick to your goals. “If you’ve tried to stop before and found it to be hard to do, consider seeking professional guidance, e.g., a psychologist, a social worker, or a psychiatrist who has expertise in this area.
In some cases you might need medical support to taper off alcohol, so having an evaluation is important. Once you're ready to take the plunge, set a date to stop. Remove all the alcohol from your home. Dr. Church has a free resource for people to assess their relationships with alcohol, MyRelationshipWithAlcohol.com.
You might have side effects, so be prepared.
Depending on how much alcohol you’re consuming, there is the possibility for side effects (some of which may be best to seek medical attention for). Dr. Hafeez explains that the intensity of the side effects depends on the duration of heavy drinking and your overall health, but to expect that “some common side effects of alcohol withdrawal include irritability, mood swings, headaches, nausea, anxiety, and, in severe cases, seizures.”
Get support.
It’s important to know that you are being supported with this decision. Dr. Hafeez advises looking into outpatient counseling, which allows individuals to attend counseling sessions while living at home, or support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or SMART (Self-Management and Recovery Training) Recovery, which can provide a sense of community and understanding. These groups offer peer support and a structured environment for individuals seeking to address their substance use.
