We recently received an email from a reader who is worried about how emotional her guy gets when it's time to head home.
Here's our reader's dilemma:
I've been in a long(ish) distance relationship with my boyfriend for a year now. Neither of us have been in a relationship this long and so it's the first time either of us have experienced the feelings we share for each other. We live about 70 miles away from each other and see each other 2-3 times a week. We've agreed that keeping a consistent schedule works best that way we can each make time for family and friends, but obviously sometimes things come up and I only see him once a week or the schedule changes. I talk to him on the phone everyday so even though I may not see him we definitely talk! And we've both agreed that (for the time being) we're not ready to move in together or move closer (I still live at home).
Well, recently, when I leave his place or it's time for him to leave my place—he cries! I definitely get bummed out but he gets really sad and just lets it all go. The physical act of him crying isn't what bothers me—I don't see him as less manly. The problem is that I think the crying has to do with something else and I don't know how to approach the topic and get him talking about it. What could it be? How do I get to the root of the problem?
And here are my thoughts:
Thanks for reaching out. Long distance relationships can be tough, especially if you're making 70-mile drives several times in a week!
It's not uncommon for loved ones to cry when they know they won't see each other for awhile. But sobbing every single time one of you heads home is pretty different. Also, know that many couples (both long distance and just-around-the-corner) see each other just a few times a week, or even just on the weekends due to busy schedules. If you do move closer, you'll both still have separate lives: work/school, friends, family or hobbies.
