After our heartbreak has healed, we're not always tempted to take a man back. But every once in a while, there's that one who makes you think again. Is he worthy of a second chance, and would the relationship work a second time around? There are no guarantees with gambles of the heart, but I do believe there are certain things you must do and have evaluated before you let that man back into your life. Here they are:
1. You've dated other people. If you expect to be successful with someone you've once given the boot, you must first know if you can be happy with someone else. After all, it didn't work out for a reason—and while numerous hours spent soul searching will likely reveal many, if not most, of the reasons this relationship failed, testing the waters with someone else will show you what you need, want, and expect from another person and if anyone is capable of giving it to you. Being with someone else—or many someone elses—will show you if it was him, or if it was really you.
2. You've forgiven him. You've shed any resentment you once held for the part he played in your relationship's undoing and can look at him, touch him, hold on to him without even a gurgle of upset bubbling up inside you. Because until you can do this, you'll be searching for reasons to let those negative emotions lose on him.
3. You have things in common. Love is wonderful, but many relationship experts agree that after the honeymoon phase fades, so too does that crazy, loving feeling—and in its place, you have to have other things that bind you two together. And I'm not just talking a similar taste in music and a shared affection for thin-crust pizza. You two hold the same values, have the same goals, worship the same god (or don't believe in one, together). Without these commonalities, any reignited sizzle will soon enough again turn to fizzle.
